Pack a Bag!

Today I am 37 weeks. She is due in only 3 weeks! It's sort of crazy. I don't know if I am ready, but I guess I'm close to as ready as I'll ever be. I realized that I really need to pack my bag for the hospital. In all reality she could come any time now. All of my books have different lists. Some say to pack everything following the boyscout model to "be prepared", while others say to be sparing because you won't need and don't want to carry much. What do I really need and not need? I welcome the advice of those of you who have been there and done that!

A Trip to Acupractic

As noted in my Saturday post (which made one friend think my water had broken, sorry for any confusion! :) I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping due to "carpal tunnel" pain in my hand. Both my doula and midwife recommended chiropractic or acupuncture as possibilities, so I decided to give it a try. Honestly I was willing to try anything that might help and wouldn't hurt the baby. A friend at school recommended a place called Acupractic because it is one woman who does both chiropractic and acupuncture. I scheduled an appointment for this afternoon.

It was interesting, to say the least. After a long discussion of what I've been feeling, some tests to see my range of motion, and a physical exam that included feeling all of my vertebrae, the doctor (Josh would probably have me put that in quotes, and I debated it. Does anyone know the qualifications to be a doctor of chiropractic? Am I revealing too much of my cynical nature?) explained that she though a chiropractic adjustment would be the best first step. Apparently my hips and a few of my vertebrae were out of alignment. I'm still not sure how I feel about hearing my own bones crack. It was weird, and I have to say that I didn't really like it.

I don't really know if the adjustment is going to help with my hand or not. It was mentioned that it could have to do with my neck, and that realignment might help. Either way, realigning my pelvis is probably a good thing to do before trying to give birth. Now I'm supposed to see how this makes me feel and return on Friday for possible acupuncture to help with the issue with my hand. I have to say I'm feeling a bit skeptical, but I hope it really helps. I also hope it doesn't leave me more sore or send me into labor.

Sigh

This is how I'm feeling. I think I'm ready to be on leave with my baby girl!

Crying Over Spilt Water

I almost feel bad posting this. I feel like I shouldn't be complaining, but the point of this blog is to document the good and the bad of this pregnancy. Overall I have been blessed with a very easy pregnancy. Nothing serious has been wrong and I haven't even had too many of the annoying symptoms. I know that the last few weeks are supposed to be the toughest. Perhaps it works out that way on purpose to keep you from being sad you are no longer pregnant, because I have to admit that until this week I was feeling a little blue about the pregnancy part ending. I guess now I will be grateful that I only have four weeks left.

In the last week, I have had horrible pain in my right hand during the night. I talked with the midwife about it and she said it was pretty common for pregnant women to get carpal tunnel and advised wearing a brace. I've worn it the last three nights to no avail. It's pretty terrible during the night and the lack of sleep combined with starting back to work, is really making me exhausted. I know I can't take anti inflammatory and Tylenol doesn't do much to help it. I've also tried heat and cold on it before I go to bed, but it still starts to hurt after I've been asleep about an hour. I've tried elevating it and hanging it off the edge of the bed (which is the best, but still not great). It's so bad in the morning that I can't brush my teeth or hair with that hand. Luckily it does ease to just a tingling during the day, but my hand still feels numb and doesn't work well. It's driving me crazy!

Last night, this pain/annoyance/exhaustion reached the boiling point. Because I was too tired to cook Josh and I went to a local Mexican restaurant for a quick dinner. As the waitress handed us our waters, I tried to take it with my right hand, but it didn't quite work and I ended up spilling it all over our table and Josh's lap. Then, as we were cleaning it up, I started to cry. I'm sure it's part exhaustion and part hormones, but it was also embarrassing. I hate crying in public, but I couldn't stop. The waitress was very sweet, but I felt like I had made her feel bad, which I didn't want to do. And, to make it worse, I realized as we were leaving that there were two teachers from my school having dinner there who probably witnessed the whole thing! I spent the rest of our dinner battling tears only to burst into tears in the car and cry all the way home, through my bath, and until I fell asleep. What a mess I was.

Luckily, or perhaps due to shear exhaustion, I slept better last night and am feeling much more human this morning. Still. I have to find some solution to this pain and lack of sleep. I've had several friends suggest chiropractors or acupuncture, so I've contacted someone about that and have an appointment on Monday. If anyone has any other suggestions, I welcome them.

The Week of Josh!

Yesterday my baby daddy turned 3o! To celebrate we planned a whole week of fun! We began last Thursday with dinner with friends from Josh's lab and will wrap up tonight with Bali Hai with the Easons! In between we've had friends to our house for dinner and the Mulders had us over for dinner and some Bob Ross (who, by the way, I think I'll take a DVD of into the labor room as a relaxation technique).

Monday night, the DRT played at the Durham VA hospital and then went out for Pizza. Last night I had planned to take my hubby on a special date, but we were both so tired, we went out for a quiet dinner and then went to bed early. All in all, it has been a fun week and I've loved having this opportunity to celebrate Josh before he becomes "daddy".

36 Weeks

Today I am 36 weeks. That is crazy. Technically I have only 4 weeks left! Life has been very busy with me returning to work and all that entails, but here is a quick and dirty update on things.

- Josh turns 30 today! (longer post to come)
- We finally got a dresser, (see picture) which will hopefully be delivered Saturday
- DRT played at Ekklesia and the Durham VA Hospital - I'm so proud of them!
- Baby Girl is running out of room and is more squirming than kicking, which can be rather uncomfortable as her head rests against my bladder!
- I've started to have some swelling and yucky carpal tunnel hand pain
- I had a midwife appointment today and all is normal and well (I need to drink more water and get a brace to help ease the carpal tunnel)
- We had wonderful baby showers with both Josh and my work - Thanks to all involved in those!
- Tomorrow is my first day back with students and I'm struggling with alternating bouts of apathy and excitement.

More details to come...

Preoccupation

I have a problem. I am ridiculously preoccupied with my baby and my body. I think pregnancy always makes you more aware of your physical being, but lately it's gotten a bit out of control. As I sit in meetings at work or hang out with friends, I find I can't stop feeling and watching my belly (and my feet, as they have started swelling :(). Feeling her move, and she's moving a lot, is just so cool, amazing, distracting, and even painful! I try and try to focus on what is going on around me, but I know I am not doing a good job. I know I randomly insert comments about her squirming into conversation. I'm afraid I'm being rude.

While I am actually relishing the unparalleled feeling of having her growing and moving within me, I do NOT want for this focus on her to become my modus operandi. Josh and I both agree that, while we love her, are super excited about her, and know she will change our lives forever, we do not want for her to be the focus of our life. We have committed to each other and to our friends that we will still go out. We will bring her along. We will find babysitters. We will have a life, maybe a different one, but one none the less. While she is currently and quite literally the center of my body, and it's very difficult not to be preoccupied by that, we do not want to make her the center of our world.

I'm just letting you know now that I might need reminding! :)

P.S. Yep...that is my belly!

Birth Class #3

On Monday Josh and I had our third of four birth classes. By spending this one on one time I feel like we are really getting to know our Doula and building a relationship with her which is wonderful. Josh and I both really like her and I know that she will be an essential piece in having a natural birth.

This weeks class started with some scenarios for Josh try to think about how he would respond. His one misstep was when he said, when asked what he would do when I started saying "I'm done...I can't do this.", he replied "You're getting close" and the Doula asked him how he knew! But overall he did a great job, and I feel pretty confident that he'll be just as calm and supportive when it's crunch time as he was in our living room.

We then spent some time talking about all the different medical interventions we might face. We watched some videos about the chain, and sometimes the landslide, of interventions as well as one of an intervention free birth. For both Josh and I, much of this was review. We've read about and discussed these things a lot. It was good, however, to think about situations in which they would be necessary and we would be comfortable using them. Now our homework is to write a simple, but complete birth plan.

Overall, I have to admit that I'm becoming a bit more nervous as the birth becomes eminent. I find myself occasionally questioning why it is that I want to do an unmedicated birth. I know the benefits to myself and to my baby, but so many people I speak to are happy with their induced epidural deliveries that I wonder if I'm being naive or just plain stubborn. I also question whether I can really handle the pain and especially the nausea which sometimes comes with labor. I just keep telling myself, and luckily Josh also keeps telling me, I can. I welcome any and all supportive encouragement!

Nanny Annie

A few months ago a friend, who's daughter was born in May, was was telling me about their struggle to find child care. It appears that many of the good day care centers in our area have waiting lists! I was shocked and instantly stressed. Even thought our baby was months away at that point, I began looking into child care for our little one, and didn't like what I was finding.

Josh and I both grew up going to in home day care. His "Granny" and my "Nanny" were not actual family members but older women who took care of their own grand kids plus a few extras in their homes. This was very common in the small town where we grew up and I don't think there even were any day care centers. Most people stayed with family members or people that were like family. Sadly, all of our family is far away.

Around here it seems like there are very few options other than large day care centers or turning your baby over to a unregulated stranger (which is scary). We briefly discussed having Josh's mom help out, but they live too far away and have no plans of moving, so that really wasn't practical. As we began looking into this further, Josh and I both felt strongly that there had to be another option.

One night as we were discussing this our friend Annie came to mind. Annie is an amazing mom of two school age kids. Her schedule is somewhat flexible and we knew she would be an awesome nanny. We tossed the idea around in our heads for a wondering if there was a chance that she would want to take care of our baby? We both thought probably not...but how amazing would that be. It is sort of a tricky subject and we didn't know how to broach it. We certainly didn't want her to feel pressured.

One morning a few weeks later, as we had brunch with Annie and her kids, Josh, semi-jokingly, asked "Hey Annie, would you want to take care of our baby?" We were both pretty sure she would laugh it off, but, to our surprise, she looked thoughtful for a minute and then asked if we were serious. As it turns out, she was considering a career change and had sort of been hoping for something just like this! Is that a God thing or what?

Of course we had some details to work out, but now everything is set to begin in January when I have to return to work. Our little girl is the luckiest girl in the world. Josh and I both feel relief that our baby won't just be a number at a day care and confident in Annie's ability to take great care of our daughter (after all, her own daughter is an amazing teenager, which is quite an anomaly!). How special is it that our daughter will have someone caring for her who has cared about her and prayed for her before she was even conceived!?!

Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's Back to Work I Go!

Ok, so I have to be honest...I am NOT looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. I feel bad for saying that since I've had three months off and I know I'm probably going to only work a month or so, but the end of summer has really sneaked up on me. A few weeks ago, summer felt endless. Sure I had a to do list, but there was plenty of time to get it all done. Now, I am feeling quite stressed.

There is still quite a long list of things to accomplish before the baby comes and I am afraid that now that I'm working all day I will not have the energy to get any of it done at night. I guess I'll still have the weekends, but there are only five of those before her due date. What if she comes early?!? I still have no dresser or sheets for the crib and cradle. I need to wash and sort all of her clothes. We need to write our birth plan and pack our bag for the hospital. The ceiling fan in our bedroom needs to be hung. There are no curtains or artwork in the nursery yet (thanks to my delay, not my amazing friends who are creating for me). The list goes on and on!

I'm sure we'll get some of it done, and people assure me that I'll never really feel ready for her. I've also been told it will be good to work and keep myself from dwelling on how long it's taking her to arrive. While that may be true, and realistically I know that the time I have had off is a luxury most women don't ever get, it doesn't make my sadness and stress any less. Sometimes I wish I lived in a time and/or place where pregnancy and child birth were seen as a time when a woman isn't expected to also work, but I'll save my real rant on that for another post. For now, I'm off to bed. I have to be up early :(

P.S. Upon re-reading this post it sounds a bit whiny...Sorry, but I guess that's part of keeping it real. Tonight I feel whiny!

A Trip to the ABC Store!

Yesterday Josh and I attended an Italian themed dinner party for our friend Daniel. Somehow this pregnant lady got signed up to bring the aperitif (or pre-dinner drink). Needless to say, this was mostly Josh's project, but, since I was already running errands, I agreed to stop at the ABC store for some ingredients.

It was a hilarious experience. As I wandered the isles looking for Lemoncello, I got quite a few strange looks. Then, at the checkout, the clerk asked me "What are you baking with this?" I think she was offering me an out, a chance to explain why, at eight months pregnant, I was buying liquor. Without thinking, I responded "Oh, we are just going to drink it." To which she gave me a shocked look. Part of me thought that I should say something along the lines of "well not me, of course," but I thought it was funnier to just take my brown bag and walk out of the store!

What is interesting is that this is the time in pregnancy when it is considered by some safe to drink. Josh, however, has recently been hanging out with some toxicologists and doing experiments with alcohol and fish and would only let me have a few drops of the lemoncello, which was delicious!

34 Weeks!

Yesterday I had my 34 week prenatal appointment, and it was one of my best appointments so far. The midwife I saw was very friendly and spent plenty of time asking me about how I was feeling and really listening to my questions and concerns.

There was a bit of a scare when the midwife thought there was a chance that the baby was breech, but a quick ultrasound showed that she was in fact head down. Whew...I was not looking forward to trying to turn her!

Other than that, everything was good. She is the right size and has a good strong heart beat. After my appointment they went ahead and scheduled the rest of my appointments, which was crazy. I can't believe that I'll only have six more appointments, and that is if she is on time! I can not believe that I only have six weeks left!

**Check out this great picture my friend Star captured at the shower this weekend! Yep...I'm definitely getting bigger**

"Count Your Blessings... Literally... With a Spread Sheet."

I've been trying to get this posted for a few days now, but have been too busy running around having fun with my dear friend Star!

This past week, Josh and I attended the Global Leadership Summit, a leadership conference for business and church leaders. While sitting for two days was a bit rough on my back, it was well worth it to gain insight from some amazing world leaders. One thing that one of the speakers said has really resonated with me this weekend. He said that it was very important to "Count your blessings...literally...with a spread sheet." Now, I'm not quite a big enough dork to make a spread sheet, but I do feel very blessed.

I am blessed to be eight months pregnant and feeling really great.

I am blessed to receive many wonderful and beautiful gifts for our little girl, several of them hand made by my super talented friends and family.

I am blessed with a sweet husband who worked hard this week on his "honey do" list and who can't wait to meet his daughter.

I am blessed to have an amazing family on both sides that love and support Josh and I, and who we actually really look forward to spending time with (I know this is rare).

I am blessed by a wonderful community of friends who feel like family.

I am blessed to have a nice place to live complete with a wildlife filled back yard for my little one to play in as she grows.

I am blessed to have a job I find fulfilling and look forward to, but which will allow me paid time off to be with my baby.

I am blessed to have an active baby who, while I think she might be a ninja later in life, reassures me with her constant movement.

I am blessed to live in an area of the world where healthy food and good medical care of many varieties are easily available to help me have a healthy and safe pregnancy.

I am blessed to have a God in my life who knows everything about me and loves me any way, a God who loves, protects, and knows my little girl even though she's not here yet.

I am blessed in many other ways that my pregnant brain can't even think of.

I am blessed!

Good Fortune

Let's face it. Fortune cookies are rarely anything to write home about. I've been quite disappointed with most of the ones I've gotten recently. They seem to be getting more and more generic.

Today, however, my fortune was quite poignant given my current life situation. It said "A package of value with arrive soon." How cool is that?

Josh thinks it refers to some recording equipment he ordered for his band, which actually will arrive tomorrow. I guess it could also refer to the gifts we are and will receive for the baby, but I prefer to assume it's referring to my most valuable cargo! Although, I guess, I hope it doesn't mean too soon! I did have a dream last night that I went to the doctor and was already dilating. It would be a bit too early for that. September is soon enough!

Grana's Quilt!

One of the gifts that baby girl Hall (I know...it would be easier if we shared her name, but it's fun to have a surprise) got this weekend at the shower was especially special. Her Grana, my mom, made her a special quilt. At some point in my life my mom began making quilts. I think it started with simple "lap quilts" for our long car rides to Florida so no one would complain about being cold.

But this latest quilt is different. It's special. It is made from beautiful fabrics and quilted with an amazing swirl pattern (thanks to a family friend with a fancy quilting machine). I love that mom chose colors that are girly without being baby. I know that this is more than just something that will keep our little girl warm. It is something she will treasure all her life because it was made by her Grana with love!

Shower the People you Love with Love!

This weekend Josh and I had our second baby shower for baby girl Hall! My sister, with the help of more family, planned a lovely event for all of our friends and family in Pulaski. It was wonderful to be "home" and surrounded by the people who have known and loved Josh and I for most if not all of our lives and celebrate our joy. I continue to be amazed and overwhelmed by how generous our friends and family are. I'm beginning to be a bit afraid that this little girl will be quite spoiled!

This is the stack of bags and boxes sitting in her room waiting to be sorted and put away!and this is her closet, already filled with adorable outfits. At this point I hope she really is a girl :)!And we still have two more showers scheduled! We really need to get a dresser and some more closet storage for all of her things.
Thank you so much to all of you who are helping us be very prepared for our little one!