Ochies

Lily has reached the age of the skinned knee. In the last week she has drawn blood four times! Granted, three of those were on the same scraped knee  (the fourth was from falling in the tub on the drain and scratching her bottom). The first time she fell on the knee was at the park and she didn't cry or anything. She just got mad at me for having to clean her off when she wanted to play. The second and third time she was sad and kept saying "all done knee" which I think was because she wanted to be all done with it hurting.

I'm actually sort of surprised at how tough Lily is. She very rarely cries and we have learned to not react too strongly when she falls. She usually gets right up and says "I'm ok." It's kind of funny. Still, it is a tough line between letting her explore and play and keeping her safe.  I think Josh and I somewhat disagree about how much we should let her climb and risk. I am a worrier and don't want to see her hurt. Josh takes more of a "scraped knees are part of childhood" approach. What do you think?

When she got hurt at the park, I realized how unprepared I was. I had to make a trip to the store for peroxide, bandages, and neosporin. Now I keep a bottle of water in the car and bandaids and neosporin spray in my diaper bag. What other advice do you parents have for a first aid kit for toddlers?

Vitamins (My Mom Is So Smart!)

I wanted to share a tip from my super smart mom with all of you mom's out there. I've struggled since Lily was tiny with giving her vitamins. Her pediatrician said it was a good idea to give her Vitamin D since it's the one thing she needs that's not in breast milk. I tried a few times when she was really little, but she just spit them out and they made a huge disgusting mess and ruined her clothes. I talked to the pediatrician about it and she said not to stress, but to give them when I can. I have to admit that I haven't really tried again.

The other day I was discussing this with my mom. She said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "You should give them to her in the bath tub". Duh. Why did I never think of that? I can give them to her when she is in the tub and there is no risk of mess if she spits them out.

P.S. Today is Lily's half birthday! It seems to be flying by!

Sage Advice

On Thursday night I received some of the best advice about child rearing I've received to date! It was from a friend who adopted her son from Korea when he was six months old. While decorating cupcakes, we were talking about babies and sleep. I knew that sleep was initially a struggle for them, but that her son is now a pretty good sleeper. She started out saying that she couldn't really offer me much advice about bedtimes and such for Lily because she hasn't ever had a five month old baby, but then pointed out that even though she had absolutely no input into her son's first six months, he is now a healthy and well adjusted four year old. She extrapolated to the fact that you really can't screw them up too bad in those first six months. As someone who has struggled with the fear that I'm making wrong choices that will impact Lily in the future, I found that quite reassuring and encouraging! I will admit that those fears are quickly diminishing as time goes on and I've come to learn that everything with babies changes daily and that what is the "right" choice today might not be tomorrow. I do wish that she had given me that advice months ago! :)

Super Baby Food - Super Annoying

Ok...I know some of you loved this book, but I am really struggling to read it. Don't get me wrong. It has some really good ideas and I agree with the basic premise (That store bought baby food is unnecessary and it's easy to make nutritious food for your baby at home), but I'm only five chapters in, and I have some two big issues with this book.

The first is the way it is organized, or I should say, the way it is disorganized. I don't know who the editor was for this book, but they did not do their job. On almost every page of the book, there are references to other pages. For example, on page 13 alone it says " see page 142", "see page 207", "see page 69", and "see page 427". As a reader, I have no idea if I need to go to those pages now to understand or if I should just keep reading until I get there. I also feels like the author repeats things a lot and even contradicts herself.

At one point she mentions letting a baby teeth on a carrot while on another page it is listed as a choking hazard, on another as something that shouldn't be a first food because of nitrites, and on another as not recommended because of pesticides. I actually laughed out loud when, at the end of a section on meat in the food safety section, which doesn't even mention safe meat handling, the note says not to eat rhubarb leaves. I just feel like this author needed to put in more time refining her ideas and organizing those ideas into logical sections.

The second thing that really bothers me about this book is the alarmist perspective that this author takes. Almost every page has two to three WARNING sections (yes, she uses bold all caps!). Often these contradict what she has just written. For example she does mention banana as a good first food she also says "some experts caution that the sweet taste of bananas may give your baby a "sweet tooth" and "some experts recommend against feeding a young baby bananas because of fungicides...banana skins are porous, allowing fungicides to be absorbed into the flesh."

Many of the WARNINGS are just plain common sense ("don't lean with your back on the range top or reach over the stove if you have long hair"). Others don't seem to make sense ("feeding your baby one food for too long a time may produce a sensitivity in him to that food"). There is also Chapter 5, which is an entire chapter on kitchen Safety. In this chapter she suggests that if you break a glass, after you vacuum, you should walk around bare foot to make sure you get all of the shards!

I'm not saying that all of her ideas are bad. It's just that the language she uses makes it hard for me to take her seriously. The final straw for me was this quote from the safety section:
"Do NOT keep poisonous household cleaning products in your home, grandma's home, the baby sitter's house, or any other place your child may be...see the recipes for non-toxic...cleaning products in the chapter Children are More Important than the Carpet beginning on page 474."
Seriously, I'm supposed to go to my mother-in-laws and make her get rid of her Pine Sol and Scrubbing Bubbles? It's just too extreme for me, I'm putting it down and walking away. I may come back later for some of the recipes in the back for toddler food.

Advice

I have several friends who are expecting or recently had their first baby. Last night, while feeding Lily, I began thinking about what sort of things I would want them to know. I know from personal experience, however, that a lot of people offer a lot of different advice and it should all be taken with a grain of salt. So, rather than peppering my friends with it, here is my two cents. Take it or leave it!

1. You have no idea how much you will love your baby. You might have really wanted children, like I did. You might think you love your unborn baby. You may even question how much you love her the first few days or even weeks (I did...it's normal). But a month out, or five months out, you will love her way more than you ever imagined possible.

2. Natural birth is completely possible. I think that as a laboring mother, your body knows what to do not only physically, but also mentally. I honestly do not remember much of the pain of labor at all, even despite being induced. I'm glad I did it and would do it again.

3. Stick out nursing, but formula isn't evil. I really wanted to nurse Lily. It wasn't easy, but I stuck it out, and I am super glad I did. Still, at the same time, a little formula at the beginning was just what she needed and it still makes my life easier from time to time. It has not hurt her in any way.

4. It's good to have a plan, but expect it to change. I had not planned on being induced. I had not planned on Lily being in the NICU. I had not planned on her not nursing well. I like to plan, and was very upset when things went against my plan. But, and I can say this now in hindsight, none of it was really a big deal. I have a very healthy happy baby!

5. There is no "wrong" choice to make. I would get all caught up and afraid to make a decision about what to do for Lily (especially in the bedtime realm) for fear of making the wrong decision.

6. Don't read too much. The is related to #5. I read way too many books which frequently contradicted each other. At one point I was laying in bed debating whether or not I should let Lily cry herself to sleep, and reading both La Leche League and Babywise!This left me in a state of analysis paralysis. One of the best moms I know told me her secret what that she didn't read anything, but trusted her own instincts!

7. Things will change. I think that a lot of new parent stress is caused by feeling like the way your baby is now (especially if she is now fussy, or not sleeping, or not eating) is the way she will always be. Babies change moment to moment.

8. You don't need a ton of gear, but there are a few pieces that I love. I don't really think what type of diapers (although I'd avoid Babies R Us brand) or formula (although I like organic) you use matters. You'll get clothes. You'll get toys. These items, however, I don't think I could live without!

Moby Wrap - This has been magic for Lily. When she was little and fussy, she would sleep in it when nothing else would do. Now that she doesn't love sitting in her stoller, I can take her shopping or on other outings in it and she is totally happy! I dread the day when she doesn't fit in it anymore.

Swaddleme Swaddles - Sleep magic!

Snap N Go Stroller Frame - it is so easily portable!

Bouncy Seat - it's pretty easy to move around (in the kitchen when cooking, in the bathroom when showering, etc.) and Lily loves to sit in hers.

3 Weeks Old!

Wow...I can't believe Lily is three weeks old. On one hand it seems like time has flown by and on the other they have been some of the longest three weeks of my life. I'm over blogger block enough now to admit that it has been really tough and there have been a lot of tears. I blame most of them on the hormones, but this whole being a mom thing really is the toughest thing I've ever done.

You see, I'm a person who likes to be in control and do the "right" thing. As it turns out, this is not possible with a infant. I have spent many hours wondering and worrying if I am doing what is right for Lily, but now am starting to realize that I have to trust my instinct and realize that as long as I love her (which I do more than I ever thought possible), feed her, and change her diaper, she'll be fine.

As noted in the last post, the feeding piece has been a bit of a challenge. But today, perhaps because time has passed, perhaps because of the good report from the doctor, perhaps because of receding hormones, I finally feel somewhat at peace for the first time since before her birth. I can feel myself starting to trust that everything is going to be okay and that Josh and I can do this.

I want to say a huge thank you to all of you who have shared your wisdom and support these first weeks. You have no idea how much it has helped both of us when we felt at our wits end to know that others had been there and survived. We are so blessed to have such an amazing group of family and friends.