It is currently 3pm and I'm still struggling with a sadness and fear that I'm pretty sure are based on a dream I had last night. I hear it's pretty normal to have baby related dreams that pack a punch, and last night's was a whopper. Because it was crazy dream world, I don't remember all the details and I won't offer any interpretation because I don't believe much in that. I just feel the need to share what I do remember.
In the dream, I noticed that I was having a bit of bleeding. Nothing major, but definitely something. I had a midwife appointment scheduled anyway, so I decided to ask her about it then. Josh wasn't around, so my mom went with me to the appointment. At some point, I realized that the baby was coming now, three months early. I was totally freaked out. My mom was as anxious as I was. I was scared to death and sad because Josh wasn't there.
There really wasn't any more action than that. It was mostly just feelings and emotions. I woke up feeling totally full of fear and sadness, and they have left a lingering cloud all day. Perhaps it's the hormones that let the dream continue to impact how I'm feeling. Hopefully, sharing it here will get it out of my head!
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