Are all Mom's this Sappy?

Judging by my memories of my own mom and Josh's mom's tears every time we leave after a visit, I think the answer is yes, but, I don't think I fully understood until Lily arrived.

Last night we moved Lily to her crib in her own room for the first time. I'd been intending to do this since right after Christmas, but kept putting it off for some reason. It wasn't that I thought it would bother her. She has been pretty easy in the sleep department until this week. Perhaps that is why I was able to put it off. After this week's sleeping debacles, we decided that perhaps we should move her to keep us from waking her up. After all, she is four months old; it really was time. I'm beginning to think that my friends who put their babies in their cribs from the start, have the right idea. It's hard thing to initiate.

And, while I did appreciate not having to tip-toe quietly around my own bedroom in semi-darkness, this transition was much harder on me than her, and much, much harder than I expected. I laid her down in the crib and she went right to sleep without even crying but a minute. I, on the other hand, walked into our room, saw the empty pack-n-play, and burst into tears.

I know part of it is that I am a creature of habit and don't like change, and some of it is being afraid I won't hear her if she needs me (how did people survive before monitors?). Most of it though, and I know this is going to sound ridiculous since she is only four months old, is that I feel sad that she is growing up so fast. On top of my returning to work, this move to her "bigger girl bed" is sort of another step towards her independence, and, while I want her to be a strong independent young lady, I'm not ready for it yet. Perhaps I'll never be quite ready. Perhaps this is what lots of mom's tears are about. I get the feeling that these are the first of many tears over her "growing up". I get it, Mom.