Ah...The Pregnancy Hormones

So, for most of this pregnancy, I've been relatively sane. You hear of women who become depressed, have drastic mood swings, or who are mean to their friends and family for no reason. I don't think that has happened to me (although I guess Josh would have to confirm). After the initial fear of something going wrong passed, I've been fairly emotionally stable.

Until Tonight. Ok...there was the episode a few weeks ago, but I feel like that was a stressful situation and there was at least some reason for me to be upset. Tonight, it was the barista's fault. Ok, maybe not his fault, but he was the catalyst.

Josh and I went to a coffee shop on 9th street to meet with a potential doula (who was great, by the way, that will be another post). We were a bit early so we ordered some drinks. He a mocha and me a "pina colada" smoothie. I thought it would have fresh juices in it, based on the description, but instead it was super sweet with those coffee shop syrups. It was really pretty gross. Josh told me I should go get a different drink, and thus began the emotional spiral.

I felt bad about getting rid of a drink that we paid almost $5 for, but at the same time I did not want to give my baby all of that sugar. I felt they should take it back, but I didn't want to seem difficult and ask them to. So, I go to the counter, explain that it was too sweet for me and ask what might be a bit less sweet. Hoping they'll offer to swap it and willing to pay for another if they don't. They don't offer, in fact, they act (at least to my perception) like I'm really bothering them. They don't really answer my questions about the other drinks, so I sort of slink back to my seat almost in tears, still holding the gross smoothie just as the doula comes in.

I fight the first wave of tears while she orders her drink and I manage get things somewhat under control long enough to talk to her. But, as soon as we are in the car, the tears come back. Josh and I tried to talk about the doula, but I felt irrationally teary. Now it's an hour later and I'm not really sure why I'm still crying. I just feel fragile. It must be the pregnancy hormones. I'm off to try to fight them with a bath, a novel, and some sleep. Wish me luck.