To Drug or Not to Drug...That is the Question.

I am sick. I hate being sick. I have a lot to do. I like being active and productive. I feel like I have been sick for a very long time. There have been times I feel better and times I feel worse, but I have had this "cold" for well over a month now, and have been struggling with whether or not I should take any medication.

My default response is always no. I am very nervous about taking anything when I'm pregnant. I just feel like if I can survive without it, it's better for baby if I abstain from any medications. In a perfect world, I'd make it the whole pregnancy without taking anything more than a vitamin. I'm a strong woman, right. I don't need medications or rest. I can will myself to get better! :)

The last two weeks, however, I have felt like total crap. I've had a cough (which I have learned can lead to some unfortunate bladder control issues), headache, stuffy head, runny nose, sore throat, and indigestion to top it all off. I resisted taking anything, thinking I'd get better soon, but this week, I seemed to be getting worse.

On Thursday last week I took the day off work and went to see my midwife who encouraged me to try a few things like Tylenol to help with the pain and saline (or a neti pot, which Josh won't let me do) for the stuffiness. She also offered antibiotics, but I refused them at that point. She said I could take Sudafed and Benadryl too, but I read a bit about them online and got nervous and wouldn't take them.

So, for the last few days, I've been trying to "tough it out", but really just barely functioning. I've taken Tylenol, which helps for about a hour and tried saline, which just runs back out of my nose. Last night, the left side of my head and my jaw/ear began to throb. I didn't sleep. I woke up this morning resigned to taking meds. I called the midwife (thank God that Jenny, who I love and totally trust, was on both last week and today!). She assures me that both the Z Pak of antibiotics she prescribed and Sudafed are totally safe. She encouraged me to take off work and rest and take care of my baby by taking care of myself.

I know she is right, but still, as I took the pills this morning, I felt guilty. I felt weak. I felt bad about missing work. I felt worried that in some way they will hurt Jack and his last little bit of development. I know that is sort of silly, and I seriously pray that what will really happen is that I will get all better quickly and be the stronger momma that he needs to grow healthy these last few weeks!

New Year Reflections

As we begin a new year, I find myself in a rather reflective mood. Josh and I have had several conversations lately about just how blessed we are, and we are super blessed. We have both have good jobs. We have a nice house and cars that run. We have plenty of food to eat and amazing friends to share our life with. We have a wonderful family that makes the holidays a fun and relaxing, not stressful, time. We have an amazing little girl and a, hopefully equally adorable, little boy on the way. Our marriage has survived the stresses, strains, and tests of almost nine years, and our bond feels stronger than ever. We are blessed!

Last night we rang in the new year with a small group of friends discussing the high points of 2011 and our goals for 2012. I honest had a hard time coming up with a high point from 2011. It was a tumultuous yet in many ways wonderful year as I struggled to figure out how to be a good mother, teacher, wife, daughter, friend, and person. I wouldn't say I figure it all out by any stretch of the imagination, so my goal for 2012 is to, rather than worrying about it and being caught up in all of the "work" of life, take time to enjoy each moment as it comes and savor all of my blessings!

*I found this resolution by Bishop John H. Vincent online and find it quite beautiful. Maybe I'll put it somewhere to read everyday.

Cookie Monster

So, I'm not sure if the title of this post refers to Lily, or to me. I had a bit of a melt down on Christmas day at Josh's parents house...because of cookies.

Lily, who is usually a really good eater, got to a point where she wouldn't eat her breakfast or lunch because she wanted cookies. It started at my house where my dad gave her some sweets the day before and she started walking over to where the cookies were, pointing at the tins, and pointing at her mouth. It was really cute and she was super happy to get cookies, so we were all giving her a bite. On Christmas morning she had several bites at my house before we left to head to the Halls.

Once there, she had a few more bites of cookies from his family, then totally refused things she usually loves for breakfast. After breakfast I said she couldn't have any more cookies until she ate some food, and was "jokingly" called "no fun" and "bad". This made me a bit upset, but I tried to laugh it off. The family kept giving Lily bites of cookies. Then there was lunch, which Lily also totally refused, and I once again laid down the no more cookie law.

Then, I "caught" Josh's uncle trying to sneak her more cookies when I wasn't looking, and I lost it. I stormed upstairs where I proceeded to cry for about an hour and refused to come down until that uncle left. I was upset that they didn't listen to me and worried that Lily would have a sugar crash that night when we were supposed to go to Josh's grandma's. I know it was a ridiculous response. I know that one day of eating only cookies isn't really that big of a deal. Once I had the outburst, though, I felt embarrassed about having it. I blame the hormones.

Christmas - The Story of Stuff

I learned something new this Christmas. People LOVE buying for little ones, myself included. It is nearly impossible to resist all of those adorable outfits and toys that are so affordable! This Christmas Lily received no fewer than fifteen outfits and equally as many toys including several big items (a small table, a slide, a rocking horse, and a giant inflatable air swimming shark (which was actually given to Josh!) If she continues to receive gifts at the rate she did the Christmas and if we also add Jack's gifts, we are going to need another house just to store all of their toys!

It was only by the grace of God and Josh's amazing tetris skills that we were able to get everything in the car to come home. Luckily Josh's parents had delivered the little table ahead of time, and my parents are planning a trip down in the next few weeks to deliver some other big hand me down presents (a swing, a barbie jeep, and a crib for Jack). I'm still not sure where we are going to put everything, but luckily we have a decent size attic and garage to store things she has outgrown or hasn't grown into yet, and we did end up returning a few clothes in order to buy things in the next size up. No baby needs two weeks worth of pajamas in the same size!

I'm torn about the whole consumer Christmas thing. Part of me is strongly opposed. I mean, who really needs all of this stuff, and it in the end it ends up in the landfill as things break and kids outgrow them. On the other hand, I love to shop for the little ones. Josh has said several times that we really shouldn't buy presents for Lily since everyone else does, but I'm not sure I can do that. I love picking out things that I know she will enjoy! I know I am guilty of buying more than is probably necessary for my nephew and some of the other kids in my life. Shopping for them is just so much fun!

I think most of us need to find ways to scratch that shopping itch in a more moderate way. Perhaps we'll start a college fund for Lily and ask people to contribute to that instead. Perhaps I'll do more of my shopping at consignment and thrift stores next year. I also know there are lots of needy kids out there that may not get anything for Christmas, and I would love to shop for them. Convincing my family, including my husband, however, to give up buying so much for us so we can put those funds towards others, is not as easy as you might think, and I don't want to come across as high and mighty, guilt them into it, or have everyone end up spending twice as much to buy for those in need AND ourselves. Anyone have any good tips on making that transition?

Seeing Santa

It seemed like a rite of passage. It seemed like something we HAD to do. It was a bad idea. It made me feel like the worst mother ever. Yep, we took Lily to see Santa! The realtor who helped us buy and sell our house is Santa during the holiday season and has free visits and photos for his friends and clients. We didn't go last year because Lily was really tiny and it was cold and snowy the night of the event. This year I insisted, against Josh's now obviously wise resistance, that we had to take her. We both hurried out of work so we could get her changed into her Christmas outfit and get there in time. When we go to the church where the event was held, Lily was happy and playing with some other waiting children, but as soon as we entered the room where Santa was she suddenly became terrified. She refused to even go near him without screaming! We ended up holding her with our backs to Santa while he peeked in and we got a few pictures. I wish I had know that was the back up plan because I would have fixed my hair and made Josh take off his hoodie. Oh well...maybe next year...or maybe we'll wait a few years before trying again!

What's in a Name?

As I leaked in the previous post. Baby Boy Hall has a name! Jackson David, aka. Jack. Jackson because it is my maiden name, and David, which is Josh's middle name.

With Lily we kept her name top secret, but with Jack, we knew pretty early what we wanted to call him and have been calling him that as a family for a while now. Lily even knows who (and usually where) "Jack" is. She even says "Jack" as she kisses my belly, which is just adorable!

14 Months!

Today Lily is fourteen months! I know I haven't had time to post which is sad, because it is amazing how "grown up" she is becoming. She walks almost all the time now. She doesn't say a lot of recognizable words, but babbles a lot. She definitely understands what we are saying to her most of the time! It is so awesome to watch her respond to simple things like "What does a sheep say?", or "brush your hair." She is getting teeth, slowly, but surly and has three and a half now!

She is a very independent little miss, which is sometimes a bit frustrating, but overall she is incredibly well behaved. Josh and I were marveling just yesterday about how readily she responds when we say "no" and how she is learning quickly what the "rules" are around the house. Her biggest "misbehaviors" so far have all had to do with throwing her food and drink in the floor when she was finished eating, but just this week she has started saying "all done" and doing the sign or putting her cup in the cup holder on her tray and then clapping her hands and being proud she did the right thing.

This past weekend, while we were out of town for Thanksgiving, she was totally cute and sweet most of the time despite all the strangers and transitions. She is always a little shy when we are at a new place with new people, and didn't really want anyone but mom and dad to hold her (she doesn't really want anyone to pick her up...she can walk herself gosh darn it!), but she pretty quickly warmed up enough to play contentedly by herself. She ate all sorts of new foods happily and slept well in various places at various times. I know we are totally blessed! I only pray that little "Jack" is as well behaved!

*This is a picture of Lily entertaining herself at the car dealership waiting on an oil change! :)

Lily Walks!

Lily has recently been super close to walking. She was so mobile and good at pulling up and cruising that at first we were sure she would walk by her first birthday, but that milestone came and went without her taking more than a couple of unassisted steps. In the last few weeks since her birthday she has shown that she can go from sitting to standing and walk several steps on her own, but she didn't do it regularly. The first time she seemed really determined was about a week ago when she really wanted to help me sweep (we have a video that I'll post soon)! Still, most of the time she would look down and realize she could crawl faster, and use that mode of transportation.

Then, last Sunday, we went over to a friends house where another friend was with her 11 month old. That little girl was walking all over the place. I could tell Lily was watching her. Then, after they left the party, Lily kept trying to walk around. I think she was inspired. She has been walking a lot more this week and even walked about half way down our hallway. My guess is she'll be running by Christmas!

Support?

Apparently when you are expecting baby number two, especially when it's just barely a year since number one, your body goes through more physical stress. I have really been struggling lately with lower back and right hip and leg pain that are probably sciatica. It hurts some after just a normal day. If I do anything remotely physical, it hurts a lot. It's even hard to find comfortable positions to sleep in.

At my last midwife appointment she suggested I get a pregnancy support belt of some kind. I have to be honest, since I totally didn't need one with Lily, I feel sort of like they are silly. Still, having some relief would not be a bad thing. They make everything from really small and cheap ones to elaborate and expensive ones. Does anyone have any experience with one? What kind? I welcome any and all feedback!

My Pants Don't Fit! Know of Any Good Consignment Stores?

I am at a weird place wardrobe wise. Since becoming pregnant with number two I've alternated between my maternity clothes and some of my "regular" clothes that still fit. Ok, to be honest, that has been the case since Lily was born. I've continued to wear the maternity things that were cute and fit and added in things that were not maternity and fit. But, in reality, I don't have much that isn't maternity that will fit, and what does doesn't look as good as maternity clothes do. There is just something about they way they are cut that is much more flattering to the belly!

Today I attempted to wear a pair of my normal khaki pants and a shirt I had before I was pregnant to work, but it didn't turn out too well. The pants seemed ok this morning as long as I kept them tucked under my belly, but in reality were not at all comfortable when I sat down, so I ended up using the rubber band trick to expand the waist, which then led to me feeling like my pants were unbuttoned and coming off all day! As soon as I got home, I switched into my comfy maternity jeans.

My current problem is that all of my maternity things, or at least the majority of them, were for hot weather. Lily was born at the end of September. I wore sundresses right up until her birth. I have skirts, shorts, capris, tanktops, and t-shirts in maternity sizes. I do not have pants or long sleeve tops to wear to work now that it is starting to get cold! I do have some jeans, but I can't (or feel like I shouldn't) wear them for everyday at work.

I did have one friend give me some winter things, and many of the tops are great, but the pants are all a little too short, and I can't bring myself to wear high waters just because I'm pregnant. I think I'm going to have to face facts and go shopping, but I really don't love spending a ton of money on clothes that I won't wear for too long.

I looked at some things on Craigslist today. Has anyone bought clothes on Craigslist before? Something about going to someone's house to look at their clothes is a bit strange to me, but I like the idea of "gently used". Also, does anyone know of any good consignment stores in the area that carry maternity stuff? Or any recently pregnant moms who would be getting rid of size medium winter clothes?

Happy Halloween!

Last night we took Lily to a Halloween Party at the Keane's. She was so cute! We went with a family Angry Birds costume theme. We got the idea when my work decided to do Angry Birds, then we found a red bird shirt for Josh and decided Lily would make the perfect little blue bird.

I made Lily and my costume by piecing together felt (thanks to help from Lisa Meyer) faces. I wanted to make Lily a pig, but Josh said they are the "bad guys", and wouldn't let me! Amazingly, she even kept her little top "feathers" on most of the night. She had fun at the party, but was a little unsure of some of the masks.

Tomorrow, for Halloween, I think we are going to have a quiet night at home handing out candy to any little goblins that show up. Next year, the trick-or-treating will begin!

Boy Clothes!

Today I got my first baby boy clothes! I'm super excited! I've resisted shopping myself, but now our little man won't have to wear pink! :) Thanks Elizabeth and Madison!

It's a Boy!

Yesterday Josh and I had our 20 week ultrasound of baby Hall #2. Everything looked healthy and great, and the very first shot the technician got was a very obvious junk shot of our little man! There is no question that he is a boy. Josh and I knew it even before she told us.

I have to admit that I am surprised. I really believed it was a girl. I'm not sure why. I had completely convinced myself that we were having a girl and when it was obvious that wasn't true, I was in a bit of shock. Josh said I acted strange, and I'm not surprised. I really felt sort of off balance for a little while, almost like I didn't know how to change the picture I'd created in my head of our future family. I wasn't exactly sad, how could I be with a healthy little man, just really surprised.

Last night Josh and I went out to dinner and had some time to really talk about it, and I started to create a new picture of our family. We started to talk about names (no final decision yet on that front, but lots of ideas) and bedrooms, and other baby boy things, and I started to get excited about meeting him. Josh is super excited and said he has always pictured his family with a boy and a girl an older sister and younger brother. He said he really hoped for a boy, but didn't want to say so in case it was a girl. He pointed out to me how this way each of them will be unique and special rather than being "the girls" the way it could be with two the same sex so close in age. I agree and think this new little man will be a wonderful and exciting new adventure for our family.

Lily's Party

This past weekend was Lily's first birthday party. It was a festive event with our family and close friends. We grilled hot dogs and had a variety of toppings, her grandma's helped out by bringing baked beans and chili, my friend Lisa made an amazing cake, and the Wagners and Keans helped with the alcohol (for the adults, although I'm pretty sure Lily got at least one taste of wine from "someone's" finger). There were absolutely no tears, and I believe she enjoyed the party much more than most one year olds!

It was so adorable to watch her actually open her gifts and play with them. We had to take a few away so we could get her to move on to the next ones, but she was seriously interested in taking things out of the bags and boxes! She also dove into her cake in true video worthy fashion. At first she didn't like having the icing on her fingers, but once she got the first bite, she was hooked! We had to eventually take it away, but not until we good some great pictures and video! We ended the night with a bonfire in our back yard and roasting marshmallows. It was truly a great night for all!

Ready for Her Close Up!

This past weekend, my dear friend Star was here to visit with us and take some one year photos of Lily. This less than stellar shot is with my phone, but I absolutely can not wait to get her photos! She always does such a good job and, not to brag, but my little girl is pretty photogenic!

I really wanted Lily to have something special for her pictures, but I waited too long to order something online and everything I found was really expensive. So, I decided to "make" her something to wear. Ok....I'm not very crafty. I do some jewelry, but I'm certainly not a seamstress. I'm blessed with very talented friends, but, for some reason, it was important for me to take on this project myself.

At my friend Sabrina's wedding a few weeks ago, she made shirts for her sons that looked like they had ties on them by cutting out fabric and using double sided iron on stuff (apparently called heat 'n' bond). She had gotten the idea from another friend, Cristin, who used the same method to make a onsie for her sister. She had written this blog post about her project. I read the post and figured this was one project I could handle!

The hardest part of the whole project was finding the materials. I had a tough time finding a solid color shirt and fabric I liked. In the end I found this shirt and pants on the Target sale rack. I purchased two pair of pants so I could cut up one to make the "1" coordinate. I ended up having to borrow some left over heat 'n' bond from Sabrina, since I couldn't find it at Michaels or Walmart (and didn't have time to make it to JoAnn...I know...I shouldn't procrastinate).

It was actually very simple. I followed Cristin's directions and the ones on the package and the whole thing was done in around an hour (plus the time it took to wash everything). The stitching is far from perfect, but I have to say I'm very pleased with the results! Next year I'll have to make one with at "2", but I prefer not to think about that yet.