To Drug or Not to Drug...That is the Question.

I am sick. I hate being sick. I have a lot to do. I like being active and productive. I feel like I have been sick for a very long time. There have been times I feel better and times I feel worse, but I have had this "cold" for well over a month now, and have been struggling with whether or not I should take any medication.

My default response is always no. I am very nervous about taking anything when I'm pregnant. I just feel like if I can survive without it, it's better for baby if I abstain from any medications. In a perfect world, I'd make it the whole pregnancy without taking anything more than a vitamin. I'm a strong woman, right. I don't need medications or rest. I can will myself to get better! :)

The last two weeks, however, I have felt like total crap. I've had a cough (which I have learned can lead to some unfortunate bladder control issues), headache, stuffy head, runny nose, sore throat, and indigestion to top it all off. I resisted taking anything, thinking I'd get better soon, but this week, I seemed to be getting worse.

On Thursday last week I took the day off work and went to see my midwife who encouraged me to try a few things like Tylenol to help with the pain and saline (or a neti pot, which Josh won't let me do) for the stuffiness. She also offered antibiotics, but I refused them at that point. She said I could take Sudafed and Benadryl too, but I read a bit about them online and got nervous and wouldn't take them.

So, for the last few days, I've been trying to "tough it out", but really just barely functioning. I've taken Tylenol, which helps for about a hour and tried saline, which just runs back out of my nose. Last night, the left side of my head and my jaw/ear began to throb. I didn't sleep. I woke up this morning resigned to taking meds. I called the midwife (thank God that Jenny, who I love and totally trust, was on both last week and today!). She assures me that both the Z Pak of antibiotics she prescribed and Sudafed are totally safe. She encouraged me to take off work and rest and take care of my baby by taking care of myself.

I know she is right, but still, as I took the pills this morning, I felt guilty. I felt weak. I felt bad about missing work. I felt worried that in some way they will hurt Jack and his last little bit of development. I know that is sort of silly, and I seriously pray that what will really happen is that I will get all better quickly and be the stronger momma that he needs to grow healthy these last few weeks!