I just pulled the last of my frozen milk out of the freezer to thaw and feed Lily, and I can't help but be a little sad. I'm not totally giving up on nursing yet, but I'm past the pumping phase, which I know is the beginning of the end. When I start back to work next week, I'm not going to try to pump. I still plan to nurse morning and at bed time, but the rest of the day she will have formula until she is a year, then we'll transition to cow's milk.
There are several factors impacting the decision. One is that my pump is not working well. It fell in the back seat of my car and one of the prongs is bent which won't create good suction. Thus, when I'm pumping I'm not getting much. Another factor is just that she is getting older and eating a lot of food, so I know she is not as reliant on my milk. In fact, I'm not even sure about my supply and her satisfaction these days. I feel like when she does nurse (except at bed time) she only nurses for about five minutes on each side and then is done, then she still acts hungry. I've tried to get her to nurse longer, but she's just not super interested. :(
While knowing that this is the start of the end of nursing makes me sad, I also know it's a fact of her growing older. I'm sure this is the first of many leaps toward her independence, and a little piece of me is relieved not to have to worry as much about pumping, milk supply, and all that goes with that. Plus, it tempers the sadness to know that, come March, I'll have a new little one to nurse!
:D
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