Leaving Lily

As part of our Thanksgiving festivities Josh convinced me to leave Lily with his parents and go see the latest Harry Potter movie with he and his brother. This was a big deal. This was the first time I had left Lily with anyone other than Josh (and that was only for brief times when I knew she would probably be asleep). I wanted to see the movie, and I knew this was a ideal opportunity, but still, I was nervous.

Motherhood is a strange thing. I love Lily more than I could ever imagine and the instinct to protect her is strong. I want to protect her from anything that could possibly hurt her. I also, somewhat irrationally, want for her to always be content. Because of this, it is really hard for me (an admitted control freak) to trust anyone else to take care of her. At the same time all of that responsibility gets heavy and I would like and occasional break.


In reality her grandma and grandpa love her almost as much as I do, and they managed to successfully raise two kids of their own, so I know they know what to do. They have bottles, diapers, and arms, which are really all they need. Plus, she was asleep when we left and likely to sleep most of the time we were gone. This is the debate that I had with myself when deciding if I should go.

In the end, the desire to see the movie and the logic of knowing she was cared for won out. I have to admit, however, that it was hard. I teared up heading to the car (and again during a sad part of the movie, but I don't count that), but managed to keep it together. I did ask Josh several times in the movie "Do you think she is still asleep?" or "Do you think she is crying?", but I also managed to enjoy the movie. When we got home we found out she had been awake a little while and had a bottle and had fussed a little, but I realized that she was still fine and it was no big deal. I think it will be easier each time. So, who wants to babysit so Josh and I can go on a real date? :)