Deck the Halls!

I don't think I have ever been quite so excited about Christmas. I know that Lily is still too small to really understand, but just having her with us makes this season so much more joyful! For the past several years Josh and I have been saying how much more fun Christmas would be if there were little ones running around. Now there are! Not only is there Lily, but my nephew is now old enough to actually get excited about Christmas. On Josh's side of the family one of his cousins also has a new baby and his uncle married a woman with two elementary age kids.

I believe that everyone has a little more Christmas spirit this year. My mom has already put up her outside lights and giant inflatable snowman, which haven't made an appearance in several years. Josh's mom brought Lily two adorable Christmas outfits which I washed today so I can put her in them and take pictures. Josh and I have spent the last two days putting up our tree and all of our Christmas decorations with a fire in the fireplace and Christmas music on the radio. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to have three stockings hanging on our fireplace, and I can't help but think of Lily when I hear "All I want for Christmas is You" or (probably slightly irreverently) "What Child is This"!

**I find the title of this post slightly funny since we, my family, are "The Halls"!

Traveling with Lily

This week we celebrated Lily's first Thanksgiving with a trip to Virginia to visit both sets of grandparents. Lily did great on the car trip down, sleeping all the way. There was one sticky point where we got into stop and go traffic and she got a bit fussy, but as soon as we were rolling again, she fell back asleep. She was pretty good on the way home as well. I was really worried about her sleeping in a strange place, but she slept fine in her daddy's old crib (Grandma and Grandpa Hall set it up in our room with a new mattress and sheet).

I must admit that it was hard for me to be out of our comfortable setting and routine with her, and I'm a bit relieved to be home. I honestly think she handled it better than I did. She ate, was awake, and slept on a pretty normal schedule. She really wasn't much more fussy than she is in a normal day, but for some reason, when we are around others, her crying makes me really stressed. I feel a lot of pressure to have her be a happy baby even though I know that our families understand and don't care. I've got to work on that. It's hard because I often feel like I'm the only one who can really comfort her and she does seem to get fussy sometimes when other people hold her. Perhaps she is spoiled, or perhaps I am.

I also find nursing her around others, especially my in-laws, a bit of a challenge. On one hand I feel like if the baby needs to eat, there is nothing wrong with feeding her, but on the other, I am a bit embarrassed to break out my boob in front of Josh's parents and his little brother, even under my cover. Around my family and our friends, I find it less of an issue. Again, I know that they wouldn't really care, but it's another one of the things that I need to work out and work on.

Overall the trip went very well and Lily really traveled like a champ...me, not so much...but I plan to work on it, and I think it will get easier.

Lily's First Thanksgiving

Lily celebrated her first Thanksgiving this week and I can't help but think of how thankful I am for her. It seems amazing that this time last year I was really sad and starting to worry that we would not be able to have this precious baby. I have so much to be thankful for!

Leaving Lily

As part of our Thanksgiving festivities Josh convinced me to leave Lily with his parents and go see the latest Harry Potter movie with he and his brother. This was a big deal. This was the first time I had left Lily with anyone other than Josh (and that was only for brief times when I knew she would probably be asleep). I wanted to see the movie, and I knew this was a ideal opportunity, but still, I was nervous.

Motherhood is a strange thing. I love Lily more than I could ever imagine and the instinct to protect her is strong. I want to protect her from anything that could possibly hurt her. I also, somewhat irrationally, want for her to always be content. Because of this, it is really hard for me (an admitted control freak) to trust anyone else to take care of her. At the same time all of that responsibility gets heavy and I would like and occasional break.


In reality her grandma and grandpa love her almost as much as I do, and they managed to successfully raise two kids of their own, so I know they know what to do. They have bottles, diapers, and arms, which are really all they need. Plus, she was asleep when we left and likely to sleep most of the time we were gone. This is the debate that I had with myself when deciding if I should go.

In the end, the desire to see the movie and the logic of knowing she was cared for won out. I have to admit, however, that it was hard. I teared up heading to the car (and again during a sad part of the movie, but I don't count that), but managed to keep it together. I did ask Josh several times in the movie "Do you think she is still asleep?" or "Do you think she is crying?", but I also managed to enjoy the movie. When we got home we found out she had been awake a little while and had a bottle and had fussed a little, but I realized that she was still fine and it was no big deal. I think it will be easier each time. So, who wants to babysit so Josh and I can go on a real date? :)

Packing for Lily

Tonight I am attempting to pack to go to Virginia and visit our families for Thanksgiving, and realizing it is much more difficult to pack with a baby. In the past, Josh and I could just throw some clothes in a bag and head out. Now I have about a thousand extra things to worry about. How many diapers (wipes, outfits, socks, bibs, blankets, burp cloths, swaddles, etc.) should I pack? Should we take a swing or bouncy seat to entertain her? Should I take books and toys (even though she hasn't been playing with any here)? Should I pump and try to take breast milk? Should I take my pump to pump there? Should I take her bath tub or bath supplies? Should I take our monitor?

Not to mention my worries about how she is going to sleep in a new place. It's amazing how comfortable I've become in our "normal" routine. It is easy to care for her here. I know where everything is and how everything works. I realize, however, that all she really needs is clothing and food, which I keep handy at all times :), and she will be fine. I still worry that changing that routine and the normalcy of our days will make her upset, but from what I hear it's probably much easier on her than on me!

Baby Girl Clothes

Yesterday a friend an I went to the new outlets that opened in Mebane. They are pretty nice outlets and contain a Carters, Gymboree, Osh Kosh, and Children's Place outlet! Danger! Danger! My plan for the day was to buy shoes for myself and maybe one really warm sleeper for Lily. I had just purchased two at JC Penny on Friday and some slightly less warm ones from Walmart on Wednesday along with a Christmas outfit and Thanksgiving onsie, so I really didn't need any more. She has a ton of clothes. I know this. I've taken inventory. I know I shouldn't buy her more.

However, I came home with a bag from Carters containing two terry cloth sleepers and an outfit complete with jacket (which to be fair she didn't really have) and Children's Place containing an adorable knit dress and tights (totally impractical and frivolous, but adorable, and she needs something for church, right?). So, to recap, in the last five days I have purchased two lightweight cotton sleepers, one Christmas outfit, one Thanksgiving onsie, two warm fleece sleepers, two terry cloth sleepers, one outfit with jacket, and one dress and tights. I think I'm out of control.

You see, it's just very hard to resist. Little girl clothes are absolutely adorable, and they are cheap. The sleepers and onsie from Walmart were each $3, the Christmas outfit was $12, the ones from Carters and JC Penney were $7. The outfit with jacket was $12, and, well, we won't discuss the dress. :) In my mind I justify all of these purchases by their low price and the fact that I know she does go through more outfits than I had expected, but, in reality, I just can not resist the cuteness. However, between now and Christmas, heck, between now and when she needs a bigger size. I'm putting a moratorium on myself buying clothes for her! If you are shopping with me...make me stop!

A Poll...Please Vote

On the right side you will see I have posted a new poll. This is an issue I'm really struggling with. I'm not sure the poll will influence my parental decision making, but I'm curious. What do you think? I have several friends in both camps. I've read that letting your newborn cry teaches them that you don't care about them. I've read that it won't hurt them, but won't help them. I've read that it helps them learn to sooth themselves and sleep alone. I've read that it helps them expand excess energy.

I welcome your other comments and suggestions.

Feeding Lily in Public

Today was the first time I had to feed Lily during an outing. Sure, we've gone to friends houses and I've fed her there, but that is different. If it's just girls, I have no problem baring my boob, and if there are guys around I use my nursing cover (hilariously called an udder cover) or her blanket. No big deal. Today, however, my friend and I were out at the mall and not planning to return home for a while, so I had to find a way to feed her.

I probably would have been fine sitting on a bench with my nursing cover , but Kelly suggested an even better place. The Nordstrom womens lounge. If you've never been in one of these, you should check it out (guys...get a woman to make sure it's vacant first). It is amazing. Not only is there a nice changing area complete with sink, but there are several chairs and a couch. The lighting is mellow. See the picture...it is wonderful.

I also learned today, that it is a great place to meet and chat with other moms. On a busy shopping day, it is a happening location. Today there was a woman and her mom with 6 month old twins and another woman with a three month old. While we all fed our babies we engaged in some friendly conversation about raising babies. It was lovely.

So, moms, if you are ever in need of a quiet place to nurse while at the mall, check out the Nordstrom womens lounges!

Support Group

It is amazing how therapeutic it can be to hang out with other new moms. Today Lily and I spent most of the day with a friend who's baby boy is a week younger than Lily and another friend who has a two and a half year old and is expecting her second child in about two months. Yes, we spent a lot of the time talking about our babies, but none of us seemed to mind. Hilariously at one point, during Lily's diaper change, we were all comparing baby poops!

This is awesome since a lot of my friends, especially the ones who don't have babies, probably get tired of me talking about Lily all the time. I really try to not talk about her exclusively, but it's hard since she is really what takes up most of my time. I'm learning that I need both types of support groups. I need people that I can talk to about things other than Lily, because, even though she is the center of my world, if I never talk about anything else I'll go crazy. But, I also need people who don't mind discussing breastfeeding, diapers, and sleep patterns.

As you can expect, all of our children are different and we all have different successes and different struggles, but it was just so rejuvenating to hang out. I could openly nurse Lily and not worry if she cries. Stopping for a mid-conversation diaper change was no big deal. There was no pressure to have a "good" baby because they all understand. It was truly lovely, and I'm going to make an effort to make this type of support group a regular thing.

Wearing my Baby!

I have decided that I absolutely love my Moby Wrap. A few weeks ago, I posted that I didn't think Lily loved being in it, but that has certainly changed. I'm not sure if it's that I've switch her position from the cradle hold (seen here) to the hug hold (below), or just that she and I have gotten more used to it, but it is now her favorite place to be. If she is fussy, I can put her in it and walk around and she will almost instantly fall asleep. The other night we attended a Halloween Party at a friends house and as soon as she started fussing, I put her in the Moby and was able to socialize, eat (the wonder of having two free hands), and just generally enjoy myself all with her tucked up close and sleeping happily despite all the noise and everything. It was awesome.

Another wonderful thing about the Moby is that it reduces the number of people who want to hold and touch her. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a huge germaphobe or overly concerned about others holding her, but with flu season on its way and lots of colds and such going around. I'd rather keep her as healthy as possible. I also think limiting the passing around also helps keep her happy, which is possibly the most important thing.

I'll admit that the Moby takes some time for both baby and mom to get used to, and it can be a bit warm in a warm room, but I would totally recommend it to anyone! Just give it some time, you'll love it!

My Favorite Time of Day

My favorite time of Lily's day has the be the nightly Daddy time. I say this not only because it is time when I get a break, but also because I absolutely love to watch Josh with her. Each night, usually around 7pm, Josh gives Lily a bottle and spends some time talking to and snuggling with her. At first he was a little hesitant about giving the bottle and was awkward when trying to burp her, but now he's got it down. He usually asks her about her day and talks to her about his. Occasionally he will sing to her. It is adorable.

This is the time of day when she has a tendency to get fussy, but Josh really has a way of calming her down. She will look up at him and make faces and is even starting to "baby talk" to him sometimes. He loves to kiss her on the head and tell her how special and pretty she is. It is possibly the cutest thing in the world and makes my heart happy!

The next two nights Josh is out of town in Virginia speaking at William and Mary and recruiting for his program. While this is a honor and we are very proud of him, I think Lily and I will both greatly miss the nightly Daddy time. He is such a great dad!

Wearing My Pre-Pregnancy Jeans!

Today Lily is five weeks old and I am wearing my first pair of pre-pregnancy jeans! Granted, they were my "fat" jeans before, but still. Today, when we went to vote, the lady at the poll went on and on about how I did not look like I just had a baby. I've had quite a few people tell me this, and it is really quite flattering. I don't want to brag, but I am sort of proud of myself. Not that I've really done anything to loose the weight, but I do think my efforts to not gain a lot while pregnant have come into play. I think that nursing has also helped, and, although it hasn't been easy, I'm glad I stuck with it. Now, I just need to find a way to loose those last ten pounds, but something tells me that if I'm just a little judicious with my calories, carting Lily around will help with those!

The whole loosing 20lbs almost instantly has been really weird. I have to admit that it's really strange to look at pictures of myself from just five weeks ago and see how huge I was. I know some of it was baby weight, but there was also a lot of water retention that I didn't even realize. There was one day, about a week after Lily was born, when I suddenly realized that my feet and hands were small again. It was really crazy. It's also funny how you get used to moving through space with a big belly, and it took me a few days to realize that I didn't have to squat, I could actually bend at the waist! It's really all been a little surreal.