First "Solid" Food

Today is Lily's five month birthday!

Over the weekend, we decided to give her some "solid" food. She was showing all the signs of being ready. She was grabbing for our plates and spoons, watching us eat with great interest, not seeming full after her afternoon feeding, and waking regularly at 4am after previously sleeping through the night.

I have been reading the book Super Baby Food, which recommends that if you decide to start with rice cereal, you should use Earth's Best Organic Rice Cereal because they use whole grain, not white, rice, and rather than refining all of the nutrients out and then fortifying them back in, they leave them there to begin with. We have really liked the Earth's Best formula (which is what we use when she gets formula), so we decided to go with that. I put "solid" in quotes because we mixed it four to one with breast milk which made it more liquid than really solid.

She actually did pretty well. She understands how to open her mouth for the spoon and even how to keep most of the food in. Not that we didn't have quite a mess on her bib and shirt (my mom would say it serves me right the way she put her hands in her mouth after every bite, since I apparently did that), but it wasn't as bad as I expected for her first spoon feeding. I'm not sure, however, that her little tummy was quite as ready as the rest of her. She was a rather prolific spit upper (spitter upper?) the rest of the day. This could be because we were playing a lot with her including bouncing and letting her roll over again and again, but I'm not sure. We'll give it a day or two and try again to see what happens.

Washing Bottles*

This might sound strange, but I actually enjoy washing Lily's bottles. We have made it a bit of a ritual when I come home. After I nurse her, I sit her in her bouncy seat in the kitchen while I wash all of the day's bottles. Josh asked me one day why our nanny doesn't just wash them after she uses them, and I'm sure she would if I asked her to, but I don't really want her to.

It's not that I don't think she'll do it right or anything like that. It's just that I like doing it. I think it just seems like a normal "mommy" task to me. Plus, I think washing, along with fixing her bottles, sort of connects me to her feedings even though I'm not there for them. It's just one little way that I can take care of her even when I'm not taking care of her!

*An interesting note about bottles: We've tried several different kinds, and my nanny definitely prefers the Playtex Ventaire advanced. She says she takes it better and isn't as gassy. We have moved up to medium flow nipples because it was taking her too long to eat. When I'm giving her a bottle though, she does not like the Ventaire. She struggles against it and spits it out. With me, and Josh, she likes the plain Madela one with the slow flow nipple. It may make her more gassy, but she takes it easier. I have no idea why.

PTSD at the Hospital

On Friday Lily had to go to the hospital for an ultrasound related to some strawberry hemangiomas she has (they aren't a big deal, but the doctors just want to cover all the bases). She did great, didn't even really fuss, and watched Spongebob on the TV in the ultrasound room most of the time.

I, on the other hand, struggled way more than I expected to. From the moment I started across the bridge from the parking deck to the hospital, I was on the verge of tears. Entering and walking through the building almost toppled me. The funny thing is, it wasn't because I was worried about the tests or about her now. It was because of the flood of negative memories that overtook me.

It makes me sad. When you have a baby you should have positive memories of the experience. But, from the stress of being induced, to the pain of labor (which wasn't followed by holding my precious one, but by having her whisked away), to the lonely post labor room, to visits to the cold NICU, to being told I was being discharged and she wasn't, and to that first scary night together in the sleep room, it wasn't a great experience. It was the toughest and scariest week of my life.

Walking through those halls again and smelling that hospital smell brought it all rushing back. I pushed the tears away and pushed through, but I am in no hurry to go back there anytime soon. If it wasn't for the fear that something would go wrong (like it did with Lily) I'd have my next one at home!

The Swaddle Dilemma

Since sometime during her first week home, when we discovered the magic, we have been swaddling Lily to sleep. It is amazing. She sleeps so well and I think much longer when she is in the swaddle. The time is coming, however, when we will not be able to swaddle her anymore. There is some disagreement in what I've read over how long you could/should swaddle. Some say you have to stop as soon as they can roll over so they'll have their hands out to push themselves back over if their face gets into the mattress. Others say swaddle them as long as they need it to feel comforted.

The thing is, I'm not sure how much she really needs it and how much of it is the whole me not wanting her to grow up thing. Her nanny doesn't swaddle her arms in when she puts her down for naps, and she seems to sleep pretty well. She sleeps well in the car seat or swing and isn't swaddled. Still, I'm sort of afraid to try it at night. I'm sort of in the "don't mess with a good thing" camp and she seems to be doing well in it. At night I see her sort of relax into it when I wrap her up and she is sleeping through the night almost all the time. Plus she makes a darn cute baby burrito!

Have any of you parents out there had experience with swaddling? How long did you wrap your little ones? I welcome your thoughts on the subject.

*Note the pink blanket under her head. That is there because Josh swears she told him she liked having a "pillow".

Bathing Baby

Giving a baby a bath is more difficult than you might think. I sort of snickered in the hospital when they gave us our lesson on bathing her. Truth be told, that wasn't the hard part. The hard part, in our house, was finding the right spot for baths.

When she was tiny and still getting sponge baths, those were done on the counter in the bathroom. We are fortunate to have an extra long counter top. When the umbilical stump finally fell off and I could fully bathe her, I broke out the bath seat and decided to try the kitchen sink. She hated it. Of course it could be that she just hated baths in general, but I think it has something to do with the way her seat set up out of the water letting her get cold. After two attempts at that with her screaming so much she made herself sick, I decided to try another approach.

I tried bathing her in our master bath tub. It's a big garden tub. It was a disaster. Even with the handy kneeling stool a friend gave me, my back and knees ached in about two minutes. Plus, it was really hard to reach her. I think she sensed my frustration and hated it too. I could have tried the guest bath, but there is kitty litter in that floor most of the time and I don't want to deal with that. I knew there had to be another option.

Finally, I arrived at a wonderful solution. I would get in our big tub with Lily. What a revolution that has been. She loves having mommy in there splashing around with her. She smiles, laughs, splashes, and even tries to drink the bath water. It's also super easy for me to reach her, heck, sometimes I even hold her on my lap and let her sink deep into the water. She loves it. The only tricky part is getting in and out of the tub, but usually Josh is around to help with that.

So, for all you moms (and dads) out there struggling to figure out bath time. Try the co-bath...it's fun for all!

Starting Solids

Hey moms...when did you start your baby on solids? Please vote in the poll to the right or comment below!

This past week at Lily's pediatrician appointment, I asked her doctor when we should start thinking about giving her solid food. She said really any time between now and six months. She said I would just know...which, honestly, wasn't that helpful.

Last week, when she wasn't sleeping through the night, I considered giving her some cereal mixed in with her bottle to help her sleep. When I read about it and asked some friends, however, evidence pointed to the fact that it probably wouldn't work, and I just wasn't ready to start yet

Josh is really wanting to feed her everything. Perhaps this is because he doesn't get to feed her much. Just last weekend I had to convince him to not give her part of his breakfast. I, on the other hand, waiver about it. At times I think it would be fun to give her a little cereal and see how she likes it. Other times, I dread her starting solids because it feels like it would mean less nursing, which I love.

I almost bought a box of rice cereal yesterday at the grocery store, but at the last minute I put it back! I'm just curious what other mom's did and how it worked?

Are all Mom's this Sappy?

Judging by my memories of my own mom and Josh's mom's tears every time we leave after a visit, I think the answer is yes, but, I don't think I fully understood until Lily arrived.

Last night we moved Lily to her crib in her own room for the first time. I'd been intending to do this since right after Christmas, but kept putting it off for some reason. It wasn't that I thought it would bother her. She has been pretty easy in the sleep department until this week. Perhaps that is why I was able to put it off. After this week's sleeping debacles, we decided that perhaps we should move her to keep us from waking her up. After all, she is four months old; it really was time. I'm beginning to think that my friends who put their babies in their cribs from the start, have the right idea. It's hard thing to initiate.

And, while I did appreciate not having to tip-toe quietly around my own bedroom in semi-darkness, this transition was much harder on me than her, and much, much harder than I expected. I laid her down in the crib and she went right to sleep without even crying but a minute. I, on the other hand, walked into our room, saw the empty pack-n-play, and burst into tears.

I know part of it is that I am a creature of habit and don't like change, and some of it is being afraid I won't hear her if she needs me (how did people survive before monitors?). Most of it though, and I know this is going to sound ridiculous since she is only four months old, is that I feel sad that she is growing up so fast. On top of my returning to work, this move to her "bigger girl bed" is sort of another step towards her independence, and, while I want her to be a strong independent young lady, I'm not ready for it yet. Perhaps I'll never be quite ready. Perhaps this is what lots of mom's tears are about. I get the feeling that these are the first of many tears over her "growing up". I get it, Mom.

Shots and Sleepless Nights

I've seen the middle of the night way too much this week. Our normally good sleeping baby has had a rough week. I think she might have been going through a growth spurt the first part of the week. Monday she woke at 10pm and at 5am, which wasn't terrible. Wednesday night she woke at 11pm, 4am, and 6am, nursed and went back to sleep, which was a bit tough, especially since we got up at 3am to order iPhones! Last night, however, was the worst night we've had since her first week home.

Yesterday Lily went to the doctor for her four month check up and got some shots. I think they really made her sore and out of sorts. She woke up at 12:30am and was quite upset until about 2:30! Nothing would console her. She nursed for a while, but it never made her content and she would scream when she stopped. Then she got to where she wouldn't even nurse. I tried letting her "cry it out" twice, but she would only settle briefly before starting wail again. At one point she was asleep in my arms in our bed, but my arm was going numb and there was no way I could sleep in that position, so I tried to lay her down. This resulted in a return of the wail. Eventually I was able to give her some more tylenol (which I couldn't give her before 2am because she had had it at 8 before bed) and soothe her in bed until she was deep asleep enough for me to lay her down.

It was not fun for anyone, especially Josh who had to get up extra early this morning for work. He and I both got quite flustered and frustrated. The middle of the night hysteria started to set in and we both got short with each other. It was not our best partnering or parenting. As we finally fell asleep , I leaned over to him and whispered that I have no idea how people survive who have nights like this one on a regular basis. Then I sent up a silent prayer and plea that Lily would sleep the rest of the night. Thanks be to God that she did!